I know I said in my last post I didn’t want this blog to be about death, but I just happened to have started it at a time when death sadly feels ever present.
I had my friends funeral yesterday and it was beautiful, every wonderful description of him I just nodded my head along too. His brothers did an amazingly brave eulogy and song for him and I was so very honoured to be a pall bearer.
My Mum commented to me I’d been through a lot and I played the comment down, everyone goes through a lot. But I feel now a need to share my lot – to let it out.
I could have broken down so many times yesterday but feared that once I started I wouldn’t be able to stop. And yet I stopped myself again this morning when I read the paper at the gym and the notices my friends and other had put in. I’m sick of stopping myself, the time is never right and then when I feel I have time the time I don’t need to cry but I want to, I want the world to know how devastated I am.
2011 was a bad year for our family
a great aunt died, then my sister in law died tragically a week after giving birth to her first child, then later that year my first son was stillborn
in 2012 My Grandma died from bowel cancer and then in 2014 so did my Nanna
and now one of my best friends has passed away before his time, he had just found the love of his life and was starting to be a true leader in his workplace
Life is not fair