I feel like lately my posts have had a negative vibe. I tend to turn to WordPress and blogging when life is throwing me lemons. It’s my anonymous outlet to share and process. I think that’s healthy, but I also feel it’s a bit dishonest. Just as social media can be guilty of being a disproportionately positive view of our lives, WordPress might be the flip side of that for me.
Last night I finished a truly beautiful book ‘How to be Happy’ by Eva Woods (also published as Something Like Happy), it followed an unlikely friendship on a journey of 100 days of happiness and some truly life-changing experiences. One of things I enjoyed about this book was how it touched on a number of issues without delving into unnecessary depth, they were simply there, part of the story – syrian refugees, gay relationships including an orthodox greek gay christian and cot death. Cancer and death was a large part of the novel and I felt realistically portrayed.
Today I’ve started reading Kent Haruf’s Our Souls at Night which I’m enjoying particularly the writing style and characters but I’m also a bit sad as Louis and Addie share about their past marriages which left much to be desired. That is a big part of where my marriage is at, much to be desired. With our kids getting older, my mental health a lot more stable and future dreams starting to take shape I’m ready to dig deeper into our relationship and strive for true intimacy. My husband however is still happy with where we are at, maybe too busy with his own work.
I’ve also been reflecting on my desire to write. I’ve had more time since study finished for the year but it’s never reached the top of my ‘to-do’ list. I don’t think I’m much of a writer actually. I like to share my thoughts but the process of writing them down often feels too laborious. I think what I want to share today is not (unfortunately) how to be happy, but that while I love this WordPress community I don’t think I’ll be writing much in the New Year. I’m going to keep reading though! Thank you to people who do follow and connect with me, and to those I follow and (I like to think) know me – I love this journey we are all on.
Merry Christmas – may God bless your celebrations at this time of year.
ps This will be my 100th post!