faith · relationships · Uncategorized

Pimples on my tongue

Does anyone else get pimples on their tongues?

I think it could be a stress thing…I also swear my teeth get sharper at certain times of the year causing pimples, I’ve had two recently and its annoying.

Please give me advice so I don’t have to resort to Doctor Google!

 

In other news….

I started this draft post a month ago Is it over yet? Part 2

 

communicating with hubby…

wanting him to tell me he cares….

in-laws separation…..

 

It has been a tough month relationship wise, I was near breaking point really when I wrote my man a letter and the next morning without explicit prompting he said, ‘I’m sorry.’ Wow can’t tell you how much that meant to me. I read so much into those simple words, that he understood why I was upset and that he could see that his actions had hurt me. So once again there’s hope.

One thing I have been struggling with is I think he is actually the one suffering at the moment and so for me to be having thoughts of needing more from him feels selfish. I do however believe he needs to let me in. I can’t ignore my own needs if he doesn’t share with me. Communication is slow and progress slower still (so it feels) but at least it’s moving again.

 

Short post but I think that’s enough. Wishing you all a blessed weekend and in particular that your relationships may flourish.

 

Actually I do have something else to add, this step forward has been a real answer to prayer. I found this blog approximately 3 years ago, printed it out and stuck it in my Bible. Such a good way to approach conflict in marriage – to pray for your partner. Definitely not always easy but in those times I take comfort that the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. Rom 8:26 (Thanks Vanessa)

 

From Becky Thompson 10 Prayers for my Husbands Heart

Lord, I ask that you would touch my husband’s heart. I pray that his heart would be…

1.)    CONFIDENT of Your love for Him.

2.)    SENSITIVE to the promptings of Your Holy Spirit.

3.)    BRAVE as he follows you in all areas of his life.

4.)    SOFT so that he may show Your love to others always.

5.)    WISE in always discerning truth.

6.)    GENTLE with my heart and the hearts of our children.

7.)    RECEPTIVE of my love for him.

8.)    STRONG in doing what you have called him to do.

9.)    PROTECTED from the lusts that would try to ensnare it.

10.)  REFLECTIVE of the love of his Heavenly Father.

Father, I thank You for the wonderful man that You have given me. Help me to always see Him as you do. Help me to remember to pray for His heart daily. Grow our relationship emotionally and spiritually as together we pursue You in all things.

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faith · life · Uncategorized

I did it (with one day to go!)

I finally wrote my Christmas letter today. I really wasn’t sure if it was going to happen. It won’t be to the usual scale, I’ll email a few and post to those from whom we received. I commented on a great post about Christmas Cards by Helen Hayward on Christmas Eve that I felt sad I hadn’t written yet as it is a special tradition I treasure but moreso I felt that trying to squeeze it in (instead of reading blogs :p) was not my priority.

Christmas has been a bit funny for me this year. I managed to get through the stress of shopping (condensing most of it into one day with hubby) and be quite satisfied with our choices. I really enjoyed our celebrations with church, friends and family (although I was kinda rude at yesterdays in-law gathering – when I get tired I’m hopeless at hiding it and trying to be social, tips anyone?). The kids seemed enthralled in both the magic and meaning of the day which makes it all worthwhile but mostly I’ve just been waiting for bedtime.

My family had a good year but I’ve seen so many posts on FB of people who can’t wait to be rid of 2016. It’s made me sad that my good year (following a truly crappy one) has been one so full of pain for others. Last year I lost a dear friend and it annoys me how people have despaired of the celebrity losses in 2016 when any loss of life is tragic. Although I did read another great post which helped change my perspective a bit (When your childhood dies). I’ve had friends and family unexpectedly lose mothers, husbands (brothers, uncles) and babies. It really does make you wonder what Gods plan is. Indeed I find myself questioning this on almost a daily basis, but I also know without a doubt that without His grace, we would be truly lost. I continue to pray that all my friends and family also come to know the peace and steadfastness found in faith, in Christ Jesus. As shared in A Lutheran Ministry Hour devotion …

‘If the shepherds were anything like most people, they felt no danger sitting out in the fields that Christmas night. Then in an instant the angel appeared, and the glory of the Lord shone around them. In that horrifying moment they saw the darkness of their sinful lives in the holy light of God, and they were gripped with the terror of His wrath.Each of us will experience that moment someday — either at our death or at Christ’s return.

Unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord (Luke 2:11).

Lord Jesus, thank You for taking my place and suffering for my sins. Guide me to show others why they need Your salvation too. Amen.’

I feel a calling to help people see a need for forgiveness, to see the evil in the world and condemn it. I also feel a calling to give as I know I am one of the lucky ones in a privileged position. Some resolutions for next year?

To firstly though finish off 2016 – My Family’s Highlight Reel:

  • My husband won a footy grand final and worked too hard.
  • I worked a full year without time off for mental illness (!) – and also studied, wrote a blog, book club-ed, got involved at school and even kept relatively on top of the dishes and washing.
  • My daughter thrived in reception, was involved in chapels,  assemblies, school and ballet concerts. She also lost lots of teeth!
  • My son enjoyed many bike, ute, truck, tractor, telehandler and header rides! He also attended child care making good friends to join at kindy next year.
  • We were joined by a pup and a boarder. We holidayed and renovated.

 

 

 

 

faith · political · social issues · Uncategorized

What I learned from this weeks US election results

Firstly I know nothing about the American political system but I do believe it could do with some improvements. As an observer who mostly tried to avoid observing, my biggest issue is how long the whole process takes and the money spent on the campaign…but that’s not what I’ve put my effort into learning this week….

Rather I’ve learnt that:

  1. Many people believe that “Trump being elected means bad things –  electing Trump in light of his deplorable views and behaviours, tells America and the world that those actions are okay, and that bullies can and should win by doing whatever it takes to get to the top. He is setting a horrifying example for those who already agree with some of his ideals”

Whilst I can understand how it can be seen that way, I in contrast don’t believe the results of the american election TELL us anything (other than Trump won). You can perhaps say it implies such things but I believe we as individuals and communities choose what is ok or not, not the American president, or America.

Also I don’t think you can judge how people see the world and their values by a vote. Each candidate had pros and cons. However if it is the case that his voters have questionable morals then I believe we should be thinking about why/how they have come to that view. One Trump voter whose morals I do agree with shared her reasons for voting here https://beautybeyondbones.com/2016/11/10/profile-of-a-trump-supporter/

2. Campaigns based on hate and fear are what I hate most about politics, it’s what’s done in Australia too. I would love to see the focus taken away from the candidates themselves and energy used on properly investigating the policies they stand for.

3.  I’m against demonizing Trump but do understand peoples reactions of fear/sadness “I think one reason people like me have a big fear about this man is because he is a misogynistic, homophobic racist – him being the president represents all of the hate and oppression women, LGBTQI people, and people of colour experience.”

Yep he does appear to be all those things 😦 and if I am truly going to say I understand these reactions I need to allow them time/space to grieve even if I don’t 100% agree that’s the best response.

4. People are genuinely terrified of “how easy it is to brainwash the masses with fear and vulgar views. Historically we’ve seen it before and many are scared of seeing it repeated in their own lifetime as a result of this election.” “Trump himself does not scare me as much as the people who actually believe in the rhetoric he used. They just had their worldview validated.”

Yes we’ve seen it before and historically I guess I don’t see any reason why it won’t happen again. (indeed this article arguing why it could happen is highly convincing – http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tobias-stone/history-tells-us-what-will-brexit-trump_b_11179774.html, but be sure to also read the follow up https://medium.com/@theonlytoby/a-response-to-some-of-the-comments-on-my-last-essay-f7917146aebe#.u50rpem0x).

I can appreciate fear of that, and perhaps everyone is right and Trump is the start of a shocking period in our time. I don’t see that so much as a sign of Trumps influence but more the fact we live in a sinful world. Indeed I’ve learnt how my christian faith ensures I KNOW we live in a fallen world and that no matter what happens I have HOPE in Jesus and him alone, not the state of the world.

“The truth is that most of these problems are the same problems that people suffered thousands of years ago…no one single human being is going to bring about the change to human suffering… So it follows: If there is nothing beyond this life then everything that happens here in this world is potentially catastrophic. Political outcomes are the end of the world, literally–because there is no other world.” Except I believe in eternal life with a Savior. Hence I heed this call “Show them, by OUR actions and words that there IS hope – and our hope isn’t in the president elect, but in the Lord Jesus Christ!”

5.  I’ve learnt that maybe I’m a glass half full person, choosing not to let other peoples choices influence my outlook on the world. And I think this may have actually been influenced by my study this semester. Shock horror I learned something at uni! We looked at Foucault’s ideas around power in professional ethics. When people argue about where power comes from there tends to be an agenda operating about where it should come from. And often when exploring this we are considering power that results in injustice, inequality and oppression.

All this came from a reading by H. Sercombe who asserted that it is better to recognise not only the inevitability but the productiveness of power. That productiveness is not limited to one person. Indeed Sercombe and Foucault argue that power comes from below. Power is constituted by relationships not institutions. Sercombe goes on to talk about mandates and collective action but I don’t really want to write an essay (or more of!). My most important point though is that no person is powerless, no person can make me do something I can only cede my power to him/her (and yes sometimes this can be done under coercive means.)

So we can choose to let Trump’s win represent hate and oppression. Or possibly we can choose to see the outrage as a positive sign and use our personal or collective power to keep Trump under check for example –

“No matter who you are, whether you supported him, or what his presidency means to you. He. Works. For. The people. There are layers of abstraction between you and him, and those layers are especially thick if you’re a Democrat or lean to the left. But the president is employed by the people. We need to remind ourselves of that today. And we need to remind him of that for the next four years.”

 

All of this links in quite well with a dream of mine to start a policitical party one day……but that’s a whole other post!

 

A few other things…

 

  • Economics is just not my thing, this article paints a rather dire picture though as a result of Trump’s election http://www.smh.com.au/comment/the-consequences-of-a-donald-trump-win-are-disastrous-for-the-australian-economy-20161108-gsl5dj.html
  • Regarding policies I’m very not in favour of scrapping Affordable Care Act/Obamacare, do support restrictions on abortions and fixing America’s mental health system (wonder how he’ll do that!), quite dubious about his immigration policies, interested in his ideas to allow families to deduct the average cost of childcare from their taxes, including stay-at-home parents (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-11-09/what-has-donald-trump-promised-to-do/8009846)
  • The next few years may be interesting – The long period where America’s position on issues was predictable, where America supported freer trade and helped move the world towards more open engagement, is likely to change (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-11-09/experts-say-a-president-trump-will-change-the-us-and-the-world/8009504)

 

faith · life · relationships · Uncategorized

Beyond the Best of Times

Of course after my last post things wouldn’t just stay the same. It’s been two weeks of struggle town, although mostly just a few off days with the fear that this could be the beginning of the slide d…

down.

This poem by Moira Neagle a fellow country South Australian really struck me (via Beyond the Best of Times — Moira Neagle’s Word Addiction)

 

There are times

when you are running with hounds

Each day presents its own delights,

the air is warm,

the grass whispers

as you leap frog ahead,

friends bound with you

the sky is deepest blue

 

(My life before the past two weeks!)

 

Your run is halted

A wall, fence, barrier

stops your energetic flow,

the spring in your step

 

(A bad day and the fear of more to come)

 

Time must be taken

to pause

to trot along the extent

to consider options

to look for the narrowest

of possible openings

 

(I had to try hard to stop the fear, let go of the day that was, forgive it and find the best possible opening for moving on)

 

Beyond is beckoning,

the view enticing,

the opening impossibly constricted

 

(I knew I would jinx myself, in stating my joy sure enough the feeling started to squeeze away)

 

The light,

the breeze

the fragrances

fade

in the face

limitation

 

Limitation struck me this week, I got tired, grumpy and emotional. I was hurt, I was stuck – I gave up some of my pleasures knowing I was close to falling asleep at the wheel. Yesterday I was particularly tearful, angry with my husband. Last night I told him, I explained and he apologised.

This morning my ‘acts of service’ man got up, kept the children away so I could sleep in and even got them dressed. The best of times may be fleeting but God keeps sprinkling amazing moments throughout my days. I pray that He continues to give me the resilience to step back and see them.

 

faith · Future · life · Uncategorized

This place

Welcome lucky reader, tonight you get three blogs in one or none if this draft doesn’t come together…(came down to two albeit short and simple)

The topic I’ve been working on is based on 50 Things I Want To Do (And Will Do) In My Life — Vincent Carlos

Here’s my own smaller list of 20 things that I want to do (and will do) with my life in the next 20 years.

  1. Become a foster parent
  2. Start a local women’s support group/business
  3. Shop ethically and economically
  4. Create a lovely home environment for my family
  5. More specifically – outdoor patio, bbq, reading area
  6. Get involved in politics
  7. Publish a weekly blog with a community of followers
  8. Reach and maintain my goal weight
  9. Stay married
  10. Support my children through their lives specifically education
  11. Work or volunteer for a charity
  12. Go to Paris
  13. Travel overseas, I’d love to do all the continents
  14. Share my faith
  15. Read on average a book a week
  16. Buy a house
  17. Be a philanthropist
  18. Have a good reputation as a caring open person
  19. Umpire a netball game
  20. Make time for regular play with my children, catch ups with family and friends

Image result for one day... you will be at the place you always wanted to be

Then I saw this photo and quite happily came to the realisation I am exactly where I want to be. Life is good. I get annoyed and tired each day. But I have dreams and they feel completely achievable. I am in love with and thankful for Hubby. My children are my delight. I have a home, a job and financial security. I have been depression free for almost a year. I have a busy social life and still time (although never enough) for reading and relaxing. Seriously I have nothing to complain about. Sorry to be a snob and I know I’m tempting the universe but WOW I want to enjoy it while I’m here.

 

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Col 3:17

 

What about you, do you have dreams to share? Are you in ‘that’ place, have you been there before or can you see it on the horizon?

 

I pray that ‘he grant you your heart’s desire and fulfill all your plans!’ Ps 20:4

 

ps I’ve blogged before about my dreams collecting dust on the shelf and just wanted to share that I’ve taken action this week on #2 , looking for a partner in crime 🙂

 

faith · life · relationships · Uncategorized

I am enough – hope continues

Felt a bit down this afternoon, even though in general it’s been a great weekend.  I have this one friendship in which I feel I can’t do anything right, or more so I keep doing the wrong thing. So as a bit of a pick me up I’m going to allow myself a bit of a brag moment of the things I have been doing right, so excuse me for blowing my own horn but sometimes we all need a reminder that we are enough.

  • I dropped off some soup to my sick brother-in-law today, his girlfriend is overseas and even though his ill health meant Hubby had extra work to do  AND even though the soup was shop bought, it certainly felt like a very old fashioned nice thing to do
  • Got a birthday present right, even brought my OT knowledge in to do it
  • Hosted a party for our boarder
  • Have a few friends going through some tough times lately and I feel like I’ve been able to be there for a friendly message, catch up or organising a special treat – indeed these very things are a part of what I value most in life….

And it certainly changes the world for me. Makes me feel that who I am is enough to make a difference in a person’s life. The hope that all it takes is a kind word, a friendly smile to make the world a better place.

It’s a pretty awesome feeling actually.

 

Have you done a feel good deed lately?

 

 

faith · parenting · Uncategorized

Just another part of farm life

The other morning our son was waking up (in our bed of course!) and his first question of the day was,

‘Harry is a baby?’ – ‘yes Harry is a baby’ – we have good friends with a nearly one year old Harry who C absolutely dotes on but that wasn’t the Harry he was talking about…

‘Harry is dead?’ ahhh ‘yes our Harry is dead.’

‘Roo is dead?’ – ‘yes Roo is dead’ and then he got up to watch cartoons.

These questions just come from nowhere. His big sister had mentioned Harry the other day at our local park where we donated a fundraising brick with all three of their names on it, but other than that we hadn’t been talking about our Harry. And Roo? Well he was an old much-loved farm dog who sadly passed away earlier this year.

Death is everywhere. Just yesterday my father in law had to shoot one of our younger dogs who had yet again been chasing the rams. Three had already been killed this year by the dogs and they are not cheap. My husband explained to me that FIL had chained him up in front of the other dogs and shot him, he was still lying there when he left work for the day. It sounds awful, it IS awful, I feel horrible for my FIL as I know it would not have been a nice job. But the farm is a business, our rams provide our income and the dogs I guess are workers, they need to listen and learn and this dog had continued repeating his mistakes.

My husband last night at tea explained to our daughter that this incident was the worst part of his day. I commented after his brief description to her of what had happened, that we don’t shoot humans.

We also had a pet lamb die recently and C continues to comment regularly ‘Lamby died 😦 ‘

Death tends to be a part of life for farm kids, in addition my children have experienced my grandparents, an aunt and their brothers passing. Fortunately as christians we can also talk to them about the promise of eternal life through Jesus, about heaven. I appreciate that my children are introduced to death early in their lives, that it is not taboo for them. Their comments and questions sure pull at the heart strings though.

 

GJ

 

ps Sorry to the animal lovers, I hope you don’t read into this post cruelty against animals, if you do I don’t think you understand the realitites of farming but I am more than happy to discuss further

pps At 29 death has been following me too closely recently, the anniversary of my friends death through cancer passed recently and I have again lost loved ones this year – is that what happens when we grow up?

pps I have had the time to write this post thanks to hubby driving past on a tractor and picking up C for a ride, both my children and I are so blessed to experience life on a farm

God bless