community · faith · life

Kindness Pandemic

The last few weeks have seen so much change in our society and with it at times overwhelming anxiety. I confess to being scared to go to the shops unsure of what I’ll find. I’ve also been one of millions of parents thinking about the decision whether or not to send my children to school. Living in a country area, there’s a sense of false safety perhaps. But also living on a farm social isolation doe not feel all that new, and I know whats not entirely best for my mental health.

I was very blessed this week to be added to a facebook group with Mums from my sons class where we could share our choices and thinking. Within this group we also acknowledge the superhero efforts of our school and it’s staff and I can’t even describe the joy it gave me to be part of this group who arranged these gorgeous flowers for these very special people in ours and our childrens lives.

 

I’ve also been completely uplifted by The Kindeness Pandemic group on facebook recording kind deeds all over the place. Also learnt about Up Lit and read the darling book A man Called Ove today. So while the world may at times get us down, there always good to be found.

Praying for everyone in need at this time

God bless

GJ

ps I also recommend Humans of New York for good fuzzy feelings – have you got any recommendations? Any specific prayer requests? xo

 

faith

Starting Off Right

Have you ever started a job wrong and then had to re-start it right? … Um only like a million times!!

Apparently God’s biblical ‘heroes’ did too.

From Lutheran Hour Ministries – Daily Lenten Devotion 27th Feb 2020

You may remember the story of Moses and how he started his work. God found him tending sheep in the wilderness, and He spoke to him through a burning bush and sent him to set the people of Israel free. What you may not know is that Moses had already taken a whack at that job, 40 years before. He had attacked an Egyptian slave driver who was beating a Hebrew man. Moses’ self-appointed rescue job didn’t work out. He was accused as a murderer and he had to run for it. It was another 40 years before God called and sent him back to do it right (see Exodus 2:11-25). God’s call makes all the difference.

Today did not start right for me. I had a late night due to book-club (Yay! Wolf by Wolf – check it out). I slept in my daughters bottom bunk as my son had transferred to our bed (morning washing required). Said son slept in but needed a shower and only had a single bite of his breakfast. In all honesty I knew we weren’t  early but I didn’t think we were really running late, so I didn’t do my usual bus run speeding, but the bus didn’t come.

I was busting for the loo but had to drive the kids into town as for the first time we had TRULY missed the bus (we have needed to race it down a number of  times!). I pulled over one car on the 30 minute drive in, hoping it was the school’s local receptionist, no such luck. But we did meet the bus at the first intersection where the bitumen starts so I didn’t have to go ALL the way into town bra-less!

Over half an hour later than usual I got home and hear from my husband that we’d had a miscommunication around some funding we’d discussed that he DID want me to apply for. I ‘obviously’ hadn’t heard what he’d said to me, no possibility that perhaps that’s not how the conversation ended….hmm a bit defensive aren’t I?!

I found it a hard then to settle into my normal morning routine – cuppa, bible reading, job-list and go…. I was tempted to go back to bed but knew that would only make the job-list harder.

I put the bible aside, I put the washing on, made the bed, grabbed a blanket and curled up on top….and then I connected. I sent off some messages, spoke to my brother (who’s life complexities are currently much higher demand than mine, he and his wife are amazing humans and parents, I wish there was more I could do but God will answer my prayers and He IS with them too), read the above devotion and still wasted my morning away writing a blog (hehe) but it was the time-out I needed.

I needed one yesterday too at around lunch time and it allowed me to get on top of my afternoon jobs. I am learning and surprising myself and trying each day to start right, sometimes multiple times a day.

God’s biblical ‘heroes’ were all far from perfect, except for Jesus of course, who saves us from our imperfections and works with us, comforts us and calls us each day for a life with Him.

 

faith · life

Decision anxiety – leaving it to faith

I’ve been itching to write a post this last week, being I felt well overdue, and yet until last night I had no inspiration to use my spare time on this endeavor.

Finally I wanted to write, but no real topic came to mind….I found the start of this in my lengthy drafts vault….

 

As previously mentioned, I quit my job (2018) and it’s a little bit scary. I’m scared about having made the right decision, a Godly decision. Thankfully even amidst my fear I have peace that it is the right decision at this time, I just don’t know what the future holds, of course we never do. For the past 7+ years though I knew I had work as an occupational therapist. I don’t know if I’ll ever work as an OT again. I don’t know if I’ll ever work in a paid position again!

The last two days I’ve had ample free time and it’s felt weird, quiet, empty – scary!

Yesterday I asked God to let me know if I had made the wrong decision, I’m running out of time to change my mind. He answered my prayer.

Today I read a blog from The Godly Chic Diaries which shared ‘Life requires a total surrender, a flying leap of faith. Sometimes the tighter we hold onto life, the louder the message from the universe is. FAITH! It will all turn out as it should be, even if it doesn’t seem that way at all in the moment. Every experience is an opportunity to practice letting go and of grasping onto life as we believe it should be, and free-falling with acceptance into the life we have.’

Also ‘We’re human, we’re not meant to be perfect. It’s your journey. Own it. Bloom where God planted you. Be your most authentic self, all in. Honor yourself and make choices not because someone or society expected it of you, because they are right for you and consistent with your beliefs.’ ….

181217-Z-SM234-001

Wow. I can use these same encouragements now! I’m still not in a paid working position and I’m very much considering letting my occupational therapy registration lapse but there are many new adventures in my life.

I finished a Masters in counseling and am supported by a local church to offer services locally.

I’m volunteering in the mental health space in my area, my biggest passion, including being available to help kick start a new exciting collaborative co-design process. I confess it’s keeping me busier than expected, that on top of trying to deal with a mouse plague in the house! Oh and scary primary school attitudes….I swear my parenting role is based entirely around managing snacks and screen-time – I have serious work to do to adjust this pattern in my home.

On top of this I’ve been trying to prayerfully considering a position of more responsibility at my children’s school. It’s been hard to read the signs, to trust my intuition but as above FAITH will be my best guide. I’m finding this easiest when I start my day with prayer and Bible reading. Again not an activity I always find myself inspired to spend my time on even though the rewards are obvious.

 

So here I guess is an update on my life. Daily decisions to be made and daily trying my best to let it go and trust God. Now off for church and footy. I wonder what decisions you are making today?

 

 

Books · faith · reviews

Six Degrees of Separation from Three Women to…Redeeming Love

Once again I’m going use this wonderful prompt the Six Degrees of Separation to share some of my recent, let’s call it holiday time, reads. This meme hosted by booksaremyfavouriteandbest,  gets you to take one title, and link through five other titles to see where you end up.

This month we are starting with Three Women by Lisa Taddeo a book i hadn’t heard about prior to the prompt. Goodreads starts with ‘Desire as we’ve never seen it before: a riveting true story about the sex lives of three real American women, based on nearly a decade of reporting.’ My first impression was that it sounded interesting, reviews left me a bit conflicted and I’ve yet to add to my TBR list. I do believe the world needs more frank and honest discussion about sex and this book could possibly be part of that discussion. My chain however takes the topic of sex to it’s evil sister rape in the form of…

Sadie by Courtney Summers. I can’t remember who but one of the bloggers I read has been raving about this book all year and it certainly lived up to its hype for me. From the blurb… “Alternating between Sadie’s unflinching voice as she hunts the [her sisters] killer and the podcast transcripts tracking the clues she’s left behind, Sadie is a breathless thriller.” The story covers Sadie and her sisters childhood in a remote town, with their drug-addicted mother and one (over?) caring neighbour….Sadie is a story about childhood trauma which has been a common theme in my recent reads…

Boy Swallows Universe by Trent Dalton also had the commonality of drugs with two boy lives swiftly changed when their step-fathers drug boss comes to visit. Again from goodreads

‘A novel of love, crime, magic, fate and coming of age, set in Brisbane’s violent working class suburban fringe – A lost father, a mute brother, a mum in jail, a heroin dealer for a stepfather and a notorious crim for a babysitter. It’s not as if Eli’s life isn’t complicated enough already. He’s just trying to follow his heart, learning what it takes to be a good man, but life just keeps throwing obstacles in the way – not least of which is Tytus Broz, legendary Brisbane drug dealer…A story of brotherhood, true love and the most unlikely of friendships.’

The two books above also included mutism and stuttering, which along with childhood trauma link in with the title of my next chain The Words that Fly Between Us by Sarah Carroll. The blurb read, ” From the outside, it looks like Lucy has the perfect life. She has everything. Everything that money can buy. But money can’t buy Lucy the words she needs to stand up to her bully of a father, the words to escape her suffocating family life, the words to become the person she wants to be.” Again I really enjoyed this book  (perhaps a bit lighter than the two above) including it’s interspersing of texts and blogs.

The book I just finished also covered childhood trauma but unlike the three above written primarily from the perspective of the young adults, this book,  the latest release from my all-time favourite author, The Masterpiece by Francine Riverscovered the effects of trauma on the two main characters lives in adulthood. This ultimate romance, although predictable in it’s ending had so much depth in the journey, I was not disappointed. We are all God’s masterpieces and this book was full of christian grace and wisdom.

It seems fitting for me to end on another Francine Rivers book her classic, my favourite Redeeming Love which like the first book in this chain covers sex with a prostititute for the main character, along with sadly childhood trauma (all these books cover this real and ever present issue in our society well, but I confess it does seem somewhat wrong to follow this as a theme) and the all-important and powerful Redeeming Love of God.

Happy Reading All 🙂

R1_RedeemingLove_635755989046663672_1600.png

35605477

faith · social issues

On Euthanasia…

What a heavy topic to return to blogging on, hey?

Just quickly I would like to say thank you to my followers. I’ve been on a bit of a hiatus as I finish my study (just 30 hours of placement to go!) but this blog is nonetheless always there for me when I’ve got something I feel I need/want to share with the world. It doesn’t matter if those draft thoughts never leave my head, knowing I have this space and even better people who are interested, is a wonderful blessing.

But back to this topic, yep, I’m going there….Euthanasia.

It came up at bookclub last night, as the last dregs lingered on around the table discussing work, life, financial planning and end of life.

The state of Victoria recently passed assisted dying laws which came into effect this month. I do not support these laws and pray other states do not follow suit – why? Quite simply because I am a christian. Is that a good enough reason to support protests against these laws for other people, mostly non-christian? That is a very good question.

I believe God is in ultimate control of our lives, and despite a fallen world with pain and injustice, I believe God is good. Despite daily questioning of His will and ways I trust Him and am content (relatively!) to leave my life and death in His hands. This choice became very clear to me when I was presented with the option (opportunity?) to terminate my second pregnancy. Whilst the medical reality for my child was very scary, abortion was never really an option – life is a gift. A gift I believe God chooses the time for giving and taking away. A gift I am more than happy to put into His capable hands, placing my trust in Him.

At this time in my life it also became really clear to me why people might choose differently to me. Without faith in God, given the option of a life of likely pain and challenges for your child versus regulated safe termination (death), I can see how it could be  a decision of love rather than perhaps convenience.

sunset-sky-sun-cloud-48207

So when at the other end of life and someone is facing certain death, via painful disease or illness, yes the loving choice could be termination. I still choose however to believe and trust in God. I don’t understand why he allows people to linger in pain but I do believe He is all-loving and all-knowing and I do believe there can be continued purpose and meaning in life.

I have not experienced constant pain and I have no idea what it’s like, so it can easily be asked, what right do I have to say how a non-christian chooses to end their life?

I’m not sure I can justify my beliefs….I DO wish for all people to come to know God as I do and to trust in Him….but I also acknowledge free-will. So I guess I don’t think that my choice is anymore valid than yours but I do believe I have the right to express it and continue to make decisions based on my faith, even if they affect others with different beliefs.

I have experienced the death of two grandmothers from bowel cancer. Both had lived long and blessed lives. My Dad shares what a privilege it was to be sitting nearby as his Mum took her last breaths. My mother cared for her Mum at her home until her death, which she too experienced as a great honour and privilege. It was interesting to hear an uncles perspective, who also helping with care saw it as cruelty for his Mum. I’m sure my Mum didn’t find it pleasant and wished for the suffering to end but I believe she also believed the care was dignified and an appropriate way to die.

I guess I wonder why we assume death should be painless? I think many are afraid of death and wish for it to be as uncomplicated as possible….I don’t think that’s realistic, as with all of life, the real picture often isn’t pretty but nonetheless invaluable.

I’m wondering now how to end this…..I feel I’m done.

Would love for any thoughts, alternative views, questions to be shared

GJ

faith · social issues

National Shame

Last week Sammy Hope wrote a blog about judgement that rung bells in my head, especially in light of something I’d just read  –

“My church bulletin talked about judging this week in relation to the eighth commandment… it was a much needed learning especially in light of social media “we should remember that no one has the right to pass judgement on anyone else and rebuke him in public…theres nothing wrong with knowing it but we don’t have the right to pass judgement”

Today I wanted to share an article on my Facebook feed – (link here)

for WP

But wouldn’t this be a prime example of passing judgment. Who am I to compare the sin’s of others? Why is it (as Sammy asked) so hard to get off our Self Righteous Horses?

And yet don’t we also need to advocate against issues like domestic violence in our society?

for wp 2

Sin and forgiveness. Shame. Does Jesus forgive even Steve Smith?! Even Matt Lodge? Sin and consequences…are some sins worse than others…what should the consequences be? What is the media or society’s role? Does society know its own demons?

On this Good Friday the one thing I know is that Jesus died for me, and Praise God, Gtook my multitude of sins upon himself on the cross. 

Sammy suggested that we need to remember that only love and acceptance can win people over.  Please pray that people will recognize their sins and that as Christians we can show them the way to the cross, the only place where true forgiveness can be found.

 

 

faith · relationships · Uncategorized

Pimples on my tongue

Does anyone else get pimples on their tongues?

I think it could be a stress thing…I also swear my teeth get sharper at certain times of the year causing pimples, I’ve had two recently and its annoying.

Please give me advice so I don’t have to resort to Doctor Google!

 

In other news….

I started this draft post a month ago Is it over yet? Part 2

 

communicating with hubby…

wanting him to tell me he cares….

in-laws separation…..

 

It has been a tough month relationship wise, I was near breaking point really when I wrote my man a letter and the next morning without explicit prompting he said, ‘I’m sorry.’ Wow can’t tell you how much that meant to me. I read so much into those simple words, that he understood why I was upset and that he could see that his actions had hurt me. So once again there’s hope.

One thing I have been struggling with is I think he is actually the one suffering at the moment and so for me to be having thoughts of needing more from him feels selfish. I do however believe he needs to let me in. I can’t ignore my own needs if he doesn’t share with me. Communication is slow and progress slower still (so it feels) but at least it’s moving again.

 

Short post but I think that’s enough. Wishing you all a blessed weekend and in particular that your relationships may flourish.

 

Actually I do have something else to add, this step forward has been a real answer to prayer. I found this blog approximately 3 years ago, printed it out and stuck it in my Bible. Such a good way to approach conflict in marriage – to pray for your partner. Definitely not always easy but in those times I take comfort that the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. Rom 8:26 (Thanks Vanessa)

 

From Becky Thompson 10 Prayers for my Husbands Heart

Lord, I ask that you would touch my husband’s heart. I pray that his heart would be…

1.)    CONFIDENT of Your love for Him.

2.)    SENSITIVE to the promptings of Your Holy Spirit.

3.)    BRAVE as he follows you in all areas of his life.

4.)    SOFT so that he may show Your love to others always.

5.)    WISE in always discerning truth.

6.)    GENTLE with my heart and the hearts of our children.

7.)    RECEPTIVE of my love for him.

8.)    STRONG in doing what you have called him to do.

9.)    PROTECTED from the lusts that would try to ensnare it.

10.)  REFLECTIVE of the love of his Heavenly Father.

Father, I thank You for the wonderful man that You have given me. Help me to always see Him as you do. Help me to remember to pray for His heart daily. Grow our relationship emotionally and spiritually as together we pursue You in all things.

faith · life · Uncategorized

I did it (with one day to go!)

I finally wrote my Christmas letter today. I really wasn’t sure if it was going to happen. It won’t be to the usual scale, I’ll email a few and post to those from whom we received. I commented on a great post about Christmas Cards by Helen Hayward on Christmas Eve that I felt sad I hadn’t written yet as it is a special tradition I treasure but moreso I felt that trying to squeeze it in (instead of reading blogs :p) was not my priority.

Christmas has been a bit funny for me this year. I managed to get through the stress of shopping (condensing most of it into one day with hubby) and be quite satisfied with our choices. I really enjoyed our celebrations with church, friends and family (although I was kinda rude at yesterdays in-law gathering – when I get tired I’m hopeless at hiding it and trying to be social, tips anyone?). The kids seemed enthralled in both the magic and meaning of the day which makes it all worthwhile but mostly I’ve just been waiting for bedtime.

My family had a good year but I’ve seen so many posts on FB of people who can’t wait to be rid of 2016. It’s made me sad that my good year (following a truly crappy one) has been one so full of pain for others. Last year I lost a dear friend and it annoys me how people have despaired of the celebrity losses in 2016 when any loss of life is tragic. Although I did read another great post which helped change my perspective a bit (When your childhood dies). I’ve had friends and family unexpectedly lose mothers, husbands (brothers, uncles) and babies. It really does make you wonder what Gods plan is. Indeed I find myself questioning this on almost a daily basis, but I also know without a doubt that without His grace, we would be truly lost. I continue to pray that all my friends and family also come to know the peace and steadfastness found in faith, in Christ Jesus. As shared in A Lutheran Ministry Hour devotion …

‘If the shepherds were anything like most people, they felt no danger sitting out in the fields that Christmas night. Then in an instant the angel appeared, and the glory of the Lord shone around them. In that horrifying moment they saw the darkness of their sinful lives in the holy light of God, and they were gripped with the terror of His wrath.Each of us will experience that moment someday — either at our death or at Christ’s return.

Unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord (Luke 2:11).

Lord Jesus, thank You for taking my place and suffering for my sins. Guide me to show others why they need Your salvation too. Amen.’

I feel a calling to help people see a need for forgiveness, to see the evil in the world and condemn it. I also feel a calling to give as I know I am one of the lucky ones in a privileged position. Some resolutions for next year?

To firstly though finish off 2016 – My Family’s Highlight Reel:

  • My husband won a footy grand final and worked too hard.
  • I worked a full year without time off for mental illness (!) – and also studied, wrote a blog, book club-ed, got involved at school and even kept relatively on top of the dishes and washing.
  • My daughter thrived in reception, was involved in chapels,  assemblies, school and ballet concerts. She also lost lots of teeth!
  • My son enjoyed many bike, ute, truck, tractor, telehandler and header rides! He also attended child care making good friends to join at kindy next year.
  • We were joined by a pup and a boarder. We holidayed and renovated.

 

 

 

 

faith · political · social issues · Uncategorized

What I learned from this weeks US election results

Firstly I know nothing about the American political system but I do believe it could do with some improvements. As an observer who mostly tried to avoid observing, my biggest issue is how long the whole process takes and the money spent on the campaign…but that’s not what I’ve put my effort into learning this week….

Rather I’ve learnt that:

  1. Many people believe that “Trump being elected means bad things –  electing Trump in light of his deplorable views and behaviours, tells America and the world that those actions are okay, and that bullies can and should win by doing whatever it takes to get to the top. He is setting a horrifying example for those who already agree with some of his ideals”

Whilst I can understand how it can be seen that way, I in contrast don’t believe the results of the american election TELL us anything (other than Trump won). You can perhaps say it implies such things but I believe we as individuals and communities choose what is ok or not, not the American president, or America.

Also I don’t think you can judge how people see the world and their values by a vote. Each candidate had pros and cons. However if it is the case that his voters have questionable morals then I believe we should be thinking about why/how they have come to that view. One Trump voter whose morals I do agree with shared her reasons for voting here https://beautybeyondbones.com/2016/11/10/profile-of-a-trump-supporter/

2. Campaigns based on hate and fear are what I hate most about politics, it’s what’s done in Australia too. I would love to see the focus taken away from the candidates themselves and energy used on properly investigating the policies they stand for.

3.  I’m against demonizing Trump but do understand peoples reactions of fear/sadness “I think one reason people like me have a big fear about this man is because he is a misogynistic, homophobic racist – him being the president represents all of the hate and oppression women, LGBTQI people, and people of colour experience.”

Yep he does appear to be all those things 😦 and if I am truly going to say I understand these reactions I need to allow them time/space to grieve even if I don’t 100% agree that’s the best response.

4. People are genuinely terrified of “how easy it is to brainwash the masses with fear and vulgar views. Historically we’ve seen it before and many are scared of seeing it repeated in their own lifetime as a result of this election.” “Trump himself does not scare me as much as the people who actually believe in the rhetoric he used. They just had their worldview validated.”

Yes we’ve seen it before and historically I guess I don’t see any reason why it won’t happen again. (indeed this article arguing why it could happen is highly convincing – http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tobias-stone/history-tells-us-what-will-brexit-trump_b_11179774.html, but be sure to also read the follow up https://medium.com/@theonlytoby/a-response-to-some-of-the-comments-on-my-last-essay-f7917146aebe#.u50rpem0x).

I can appreciate fear of that, and perhaps everyone is right and Trump is the start of a shocking period in our time. I don’t see that so much as a sign of Trumps influence but more the fact we live in a sinful world. Indeed I’ve learnt how my christian faith ensures I KNOW we live in a fallen world and that no matter what happens I have HOPE in Jesus and him alone, not the state of the world.

“The truth is that most of these problems are the same problems that people suffered thousands of years ago…no one single human being is going to bring about the change to human suffering… So it follows: If there is nothing beyond this life then everything that happens here in this world is potentially catastrophic. Political outcomes are the end of the world, literally–because there is no other world.” Except I believe in eternal life with a Savior. Hence I heed this call “Show them, by OUR actions and words that there IS hope – and our hope isn’t in the president elect, but in the Lord Jesus Christ!”

5.  I’ve learnt that maybe I’m a glass half full person, choosing not to let other peoples choices influence my outlook on the world. And I think this may have actually been influenced by my study this semester. Shock horror I learned something at uni! We looked at Foucault’s ideas around power in professional ethics. When people argue about where power comes from there tends to be an agenda operating about where it should come from. And often when exploring this we are considering power that results in injustice, inequality and oppression.

All this came from a reading by H. Sercombe who asserted that it is better to recognise not only the inevitability but the productiveness of power. That productiveness is not limited to one person. Indeed Sercombe and Foucault argue that power comes from below. Power is constituted by relationships not institutions. Sercombe goes on to talk about mandates and collective action but I don’t really want to write an essay (or more of!). My most important point though is that no person is powerless, no person can make me do something I can only cede my power to him/her (and yes sometimes this can be done under coercive means.)

So we can choose to let Trump’s win represent hate and oppression. Or possibly we can choose to see the outrage as a positive sign and use our personal or collective power to keep Trump under check for example –

“No matter who you are, whether you supported him, or what his presidency means to you. He. Works. For. The people. There are layers of abstraction between you and him, and those layers are especially thick if you’re a Democrat or lean to the left. But the president is employed by the people. We need to remind ourselves of that today. And we need to remind him of that for the next four years.”

 

All of this links in quite well with a dream of mine to start a policitical party one day……but that’s a whole other post!

 

A few other things…

 

  • Economics is just not my thing, this article paints a rather dire picture though as a result of Trump’s election http://www.smh.com.au/comment/the-consequences-of-a-donald-trump-win-are-disastrous-for-the-australian-economy-20161108-gsl5dj.html
  • Regarding policies I’m very not in favour of scrapping Affordable Care Act/Obamacare, do support restrictions on abortions and fixing America’s mental health system (wonder how he’ll do that!), quite dubious about his immigration policies, interested in his ideas to allow families to deduct the average cost of childcare from their taxes, including stay-at-home parents (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-11-09/what-has-donald-trump-promised-to-do/8009846)
  • The next few years may be interesting – The long period where America’s position on issues was predictable, where America supported freer trade and helped move the world towards more open engagement, is likely to change (http://www.abc.net.au/news/2016-11-09/experts-say-a-president-trump-will-change-the-us-and-the-world/8009504)

 

faith · life · relationships · Uncategorized

Beyond the Best of Times

Of course after my last post things wouldn’t just stay the same. It’s been two weeks of struggle town, although mostly just a few off days with the fear that this could be the beginning of the slide d…

down.

This poem by Moira Neagle a fellow country South Australian really struck me (via Beyond the Best of Times — Moira Neagle’s Word Addiction)

 

There are times

when you are running with hounds

Each day presents its own delights,

the air is warm,

the grass whispers

as you leap frog ahead,

friends bound with you

the sky is deepest blue

 

(My life before the past two weeks!)

 

Your run is halted

A wall, fence, barrier

stops your energetic flow,

the spring in your step

 

(A bad day and the fear of more to come)

 

Time must be taken

to pause

to trot along the extent

to consider options

to look for the narrowest

of possible openings

 

(I had to try hard to stop the fear, let go of the day that was, forgive it and find the best possible opening for moving on)

 

Beyond is beckoning,

the view enticing,

the opening impossibly constricted

 

(I knew I would jinx myself, in stating my joy sure enough the feeling started to squeeze away)

 

The light,

the breeze

the fragrances

fade

in the face

limitation

 

Limitation struck me this week, I got tired, grumpy and emotional. I was hurt, I was stuck – I gave up some of my pleasures knowing I was close to falling asleep at the wheel. Yesterday I was particularly tearful, angry with my husband. Last night I told him, I explained and he apologised.

This morning my ‘acts of service’ man got up, kept the children away so I could sleep in and even got them dressed. The best of times may be fleeting but God keeps sprinkling amazing moments throughout my days. I pray that He continues to give me the resilience to step back and see them.