Three Thoughts

My first personal memory of a community in mourning was when a woman was murdered from a previous workplace of mine. Even when you may not be closely associated with a person, the magnitude of the loss of their life can still floor you. I guess that is how it is for some people with celebrity deaths.

In recent times my local community has been struck by tragedy after tragedy after tragedy. As I watched footage tonight of six young pall bearers I reflected on the honour that no person wants but that I was so blessed to have for My Friend. Thought One.

Secondly I’ve finally had the ‘holiday’ experience I’ve been dreaming of this week – ending the day with episodes of Grey’s Anatomy. But (spoiler alert) I’m watching the episodes about Keppner and Avery’s baby and reflecting on the choice I was once given to terminate my pregnancy. Mostly I consider the blessing I had to continue to carry him in my womb, for which I will forever be grateful. Thought Two.

Today was about tax, work notes, Telstra and chores. Thought Three – I hate end of year time as part of my in-laws family business. I hate what I feel to be judgement and a complete misunderstanding of who I am and my values. But on the bright side hubby and I have been communicating well and that is something I wish I could hang onto for all time.

Any thoughts you care to get off you chest?

God bless

Pimples on my tongue

Does anyone else get pimples on their tongues?

I think it could be a stress thing…I also swear my teeth get sharper at certain times of the year causing pimples, I’ve had two recently and its annoying.

Please give me advice so I don’t have to resort to Doctor Google!

 

In other news….

I started this draft post a month ago Is it over yet? Part 2

 

communicating with hubby…

wanting him to tell me he cares….

in-laws separation…..

 

It has been a tough month relationship wise, I was near breaking point really when I wrote my man a letter and the next morning without explicit prompting he said, ‘I’m sorry.’ Wow can’t tell you how much that meant to me. I read so much into those simple words, that he understood why I was upset and that he could see that his actions had hurt me. So once again there’s hope.

One thing I have been struggling with is I think he is actually the one suffering at the moment and so for me to be having thoughts of needing more from him feels selfish. I do however believe he needs to let me in. I can’t ignore my own needs if he doesn’t share with me. Communication is slow and progress slower still (so it feels) but at least it’s moving again.

 

Short post but I think that’s enough. Wishing you all a blessed weekend and in particular that your relationships may flourish.

 

Actually I do have something else to add, this step forward has been a real answer to prayer. I found this blog approximately 3 years ago, printed it out and stuck it in my Bible. Such a good way to approach conflict in marriage – to pray for your partner. Definitely not always easy but in those times I take comfort that … the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. Rom 8:26 (Thanks Vanessa)

 

From Becky Thompson 10 Prayers for my Husbands Heart

Lord, I ask that you would touch my husband’s heart. I pray that his heart would be…

1.)    CONFIDENT of Your love for Him.

2.)    SENSITIVE to the promptings of Your Holy Spirit.

3.)    BRAVE as he follows you in all areas of his life.

4.)    SOFT so that he may show Your love to others always.

5.)    WISE in always discerning truth.

6.)    GENTLE with my heart and the hearts of our children.

7.)    RECEPTIVE of my love for him.

8.)    STRONG in doing what you have called him to do.

9.)    PROTECTED from the lusts that would try to ensnare it.

10.)  REFLECTIVE of the love of his Heavenly Father.

Father, I thank You for the wonderful man that You have given me. Help me to always see Him as you do. Help me to remember to pray for His heart daily. Grow our relationship emotionally and spiritually as together we pursue You in all things.

Opinion post: Legalising Same-Sex Marriage in Australia

Haiku for the religiously observant via On the sabbath — poemsinseason

…

Freed by Jesus’ words,
standing upright, rejoicing;
giving praise to God.

Religious leaders
speak to defend the sabbath
from such outrages.

Six days for working!
The seventh’s not for healing;
come another day!

Get real, says Jesus.
Common sense and compassion
must rule ev’ry day.

Living is empty
if love no longer shapes us;
Embrace its freedom.

 

Is our faith empty if we are not ruled by compassion, by love? Or is our faith empty if we pretend that everything is ok, sin is not really that bad, love (not forgiveness) is all you need?

 

From a Human’s of New York post

“I call them clobber verses. There are six of them. They’re the verses that get used to hammer gay people… I had tried so hard but nothing worked [therapy, straight marriage etc. etc.]. I got so angry with God for not keeping up his end of the bargain. But after some time, I finally realized why he wouldn’t change me. He never felt like he needed to.”

Let me just talk about me for a minute – what I find so difficult to understand is why I should get so blessed to not be plagued with such a sin as same-sex attraction, not having to live with it makes it incredibly easy to get on my high horse and when I read of people such as above who try so hard to fight this sin it seems so unfair. How do I resolve that?

 

From my understanding of the Bible I do believe that homosexuality is a sin, just as when I lie or say or think mean thoughts, it is not the way God intended the world to be. But there is sin in this imperfect world and we need to find a way to live with it. Through resurrection and grace of my saviour Jesus Christ I live with it in constant forgiveness and a promise of eternal life. In gratitude I try my best to lead a ‘good’ life, attempting (and constantly failing but forgiven) to avoid temptation.

I do not believe same-sex marriage should be legalised as to me it promotes temptation. I do not fight same-sex marriage for this reason though. I’ve come to a belief that just because I as a christian hold to certain beliefs does not mean I can force society to live according to those beliefs, I can simply promote them (and also use my political vote to do this).

Now for me it comes down to semantics, which sounds a horrible reason and yet…. Marriage by definition is the union of a man and woman therefore same-sex relationships are different. Many argue that it’s all love and the difference is unimportant (see a previous post I’ve written on love for an opinion on that topic) but I believe if merely from a biological point of view it IS different. Because I believe they are different does not mean I believe one is better than the other.I consider it a issue around equality and equity

Psalm 98 v9 He will judge the world with righteousness and the peoples with equity

(an aside  -read this recently as with above haiku parable it doesn’t quite fit but does show the Bible talking about equity.)

I don’t think society needs to be quite so concerned with equality (at least in this example) as with equity so straight marriage is different from LGBT marriage however we can ensure there is equity between the two.

 

 

(I actually prefer this image from here as it shows not only different heights but different people with different and equally valuable personalities)

 

 

I strongly support civil unions and for same-sex couples to have the same rights as current married couples ( I do not argue on the basis of the needs of children as there is already so much sin and despair in family relationships across Australia I don’t think straight couples can claim any moral high ground in that area – although I do believe children should ideally have a mother and father there are no guarantees in our society such a family unit is any better than any other). I have long meant to look into whether same-sex couples who are recognised in civil unions receive the same rights as married couples in Australia, please inform me if they don’t as I would certainly work to rectify that.

 

Thus ends my first hopefully regular ‘issue’ post, next – netball in small communities.

I imagine they may be many who disagree with me, I hope I have been respectful and would love to hear any responses.

 

 

 

Is it over yet?

Thank you to  Picture My Thoughts by Myra Johnson for bringing this verse to my attention

While the earth remains, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, shall not cease.

—Genesis 8:22

(post here)

Myra very encouragingly explained this as a description of how God is always available and trustworthy. I however have my farmers wife cap on and am thinking of the predictability of long lonely weeks!

The crops are all in as of today, only the header to clean until we can officially declare it! However its already a few weeks too late for me, I’m tired, he’s tired and grumpiness ensues. I’ve booked in a Christmas shopping day later this week so know I can’t really complain but….

I think this may actually be the hardest period for me, he’s finally finished, I can finally have all those conversations I’ve been saving up, make all those requests I’ve known were impossible at the time. It’s also time for him to recover though and unfortunately our needs don’t seem to align too well.

I will try and be patient for another week or two. I’m just upset night one hasn’t gone too swimmingly though… I’ll need your help God!

 

 

ps I do have to note that Hubby has kindly taken our three year old out on many header rides this season which was wonderfully amazing downtime for me! (credit where credit is due)

 

Beyond the Best of Times

Of course after my last post things wouldn’t just stay the same. It’s been two weeks of struggle town, although mostly just a few off days with the fear that this could be the beginning of the slide d…

down.

This poem by Moira Neagle a fellow country South Australian really struck me (via Beyond the Best of Times — Moira Neagle’s Word Addiction)

 

There are times

when you are running with hounds

Each day presents its own delights,

the air is warm,

the grass whispers

as you leap frog ahead,

friends bound with you

the sky is deepest blue

 

(My life before the past two weeks!)

 

Your run is halted

A wall, fence, barrier

stops your energetic flow,

the spring in your step

 

(A bad day and the fear of more to come)

 

Time must be taken

to pause

to trot along the extent

to consider options

to look for the narrowest

of possible openings

 

(I had to try hard to stop the fear, let go of the day that was, forgive it and find the best possible opening for moving on)

 

Beyond is beckoning,

the view enticing,

the opening impossibly constricted

 

(I knew I would jinx myself, in stating my joy sure enough the feeling started to squeeze away)

 

The light,

the breeze

the fragrances

fade

in the face

limitation

 

Limitation struck me this week, I got tired, grumpy and emotional. I was hurt, I was stuck – I gave up some of my pleasures knowing I was close to falling asleep at the wheel. Yesterday I was particularly tearful, angry with my husband. Last night I told him, I explained and he apologised.

This morning my ‘acts of service’ man got up, kept the children away so I could sleep in and even got them dressed. The best of times may be fleeting but God keeps sprinkling amazing moments throughout my days. I pray that He continues to give me the resilience to step back and see them.

 

I am enough – hope continues

Felt a bit down this afternoon, even though in general it’s been a great weekend.  I have this one friendship in which I feel I can’t do anything right, or more so I keep doing the wrong thing. So as a bit of a pick me up I’m going to allow myself a bit of a brag moment of the things I have been doing right, so excuse me for blowing my own horn but sometimes we all need a reminder that we are enough.

• I dropped off some soup to my sick brother-in-law today, his girlfriend is overseas and even though his ill health meant Hubby had extra work to do  AND even though the soup was shop bought, it certainly felt like a very old fashioned nice thing to do
• Got a birthday present right, even brought my OT knowledge in to do it
• Hosted a party for our boarder
• Have a few friends going through some tough times lately and I feel like I’ve been able to be there for a friendly message, catch up or organising a special treat – indeed these very things are a part of what I value most in life….

And it certainly changes the world for me. Makes me feel that who I am is enough to make a difference in a person’s life. The hope that all it takes is a kind word, a friendly smile to make the world a better place.

It’s a pretty awesome feeling actually.

 

Have you done a feel good deed lately?

 

 

The farmer takes a break?!

It’s Family Business Week (can I get a woop woop) and to celebrate it seems I’m going to do two farm related blogs in a row!

My Darling Hubby is crook, has been on and off for months but as a business owner, let alone a farmer it’s just not that easy to get time off, for holidays let alone to recover from illness. And now he’s getting very grumpy and to be quite frank, it’s affecting my quality of life. When he’s sick he stops communicating, it seems to take too much effort. I try to let him recover but I end up starting to feel lonely and I guess undesirable.

I always told DH to consider myself a city girl when we got married. Although I’d always lived in the country (except 6 years studying in the big smoke) and my grandparents were all primary producers, I knew I was pretty naive regarding farm life.

I don’t consider myself a farmer’s wife, instead I am simply married to a farmer. Not actively involved in the farm* but most definitely affected by it. Farm life has both its perks and challenges ( you don’t say :p ).

Both hubby and I are in desperate need of a break, he from work whereas for me it’s more to spend one on one time with him. We’ve tried a few times recently but father-in-law got injured and instead of getting time off hubby had to double his work load – or attempt to!

Then spraying needed to get done, and shearing got scheduled for the other week we had put forward…. He has had a bit of time off this week, one day after getting pigs onto a truck, another after doing a tank of spray and feeding the animals. Unfortunately this time has been dedicated to cleaning up for a party we’re hosting for our boarder.

It gets frustrating that DH and FIL can’t communicate to work this stuff out, its just simply not a priority but it should be, NEEDs to be. Thus it’s up to me to put my foot down, not fun when DH seems to hate anytime I try to question things/problem solve.

So firstly it’s a struggle to get the time off and then I’m scared our focuses will be incompatible. He’s looking to stop and do nothing whereas I’m just in need of some extra affection. Hopefully we can find an equal balance of the two – when, IF the time comes, please keep your fingers crossed for me!!

 

 

*After 7 years of marriage I am much more interested in becoming involved in the farm, learning ways I can help, maybe even taking over the books one day – but not catering for shearing can’t see me ever saying yes to that!!