life · parenting · Uncategorized

Just a normal today

Today was just a normal day in as much as each different day can be…

I was home mostly which was lovely and pretty well up to date with study. Dishes were done and the sky started out too cloudy for washing. It was just me and my son. Plus I didn’t check facebook until this evening (big achievement).

Tidied up this morning especially the kitchen table. Made a to-do list, although didn’t check it so more things to do tomorrow.

Tried really hard to make time just to play with my boy. Managed to clean the lounge room while playing cowboys. Got distracted about sun finally peeking through while playing cricket outside but came back after putting on a load. Had cuddles and read a book.

I seem to remember spending more time on the floor with my older daughter but while I would like to make more time for my son I also appreciate that I have more direction now and it makes me feel good to get housework-y stuff done (i.e. I swept the floor!). Now to find the balance. Struggle to spend more than 5 minutes playing though.

Finished off some work notes, planned my calendar and realised I’d need to do more work.

Had a counselling session as part of my counselling study. We are looking at Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and working on my values. It’s been a bit hard as I don’t feel I need counselling right now, life is mostly good but it’s part of my course. Feel for my counsellor who has to work with me and add skype and bad connections to that….well enough said! Today’s session was pretty ok though. Felt I got to tell more about myself, the counsellor commented on a theme of people in my values (career, education, recreation, fun, spirituality, community). Next week we’ll look at relationships I feel I may be putting thinking about that off.

Washing out and into town. Was hoping to catch up with a friend which didn’t work out but for me a good thing as did some more of my college readings. Picked up my daughter from school. Dropped into the bank. Hearing appointment for daughter – it actually made me quite proud, she was answering the audiologists questions and being quite independent. We will be getting a FM system for her to use at school. Errands down the street, including walking and somewhat minimal complaining!

Home, unpacked groceries, brought in washing, cooked tea, ate tea, reader and piano practise with daughter (first time I’d sat with her at piano, she’s obviously taking things in well) bedtime.

Finished my readings, did the quiz (100%!). Really up to date with study now and another home day tomorrow. Think I’ll start a novel tonight.

Just a normal day….

 

ps Just to add that last totally normal parenting moment – my son peed at the dinner table – ahh the joys!

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parenting

I’m a School Mum!

This week my daughter started school,  I was a complete mixed bag of emotions. Excited, proud (so very proud), nervous, sad and incredibly nostalgic.

Her new teacher sent home an activity when we collected school book- 10 Things I Want you to Know About Me and one for the parents too, 10 Things My Parents Want you to Know About Me – here is my list:

  1. My daughter is sooo happy and excited to be starting school, I too am excited to begin my journey as a school mum
  2. My daughter can be a great leader and organiser
  3. She is soo eager to learn (most of the time!)
  4. The development of her christian faith is important to us
  5. She loves her brother (3), her grandparents and cousins
  6. We live on a farm with sheep, pigs and crops
  7. My daughter loves performing
  8. She takes her hearing aids off to use a phone, wear earphones and play with a stethoscope
  9. We can’t believe our little girl has grown up – we are so proud of her and love her beyond words
  10. We pray that this is a wonderful year for all of us

Her list

  1. I like doing paintings
  2. My favourite colours are green and purple
  3. Sometimes at home I like to do exercising with Mum and Dad
  4. I like gardening
  5. I love dancing!
  6. I like swimming at Grandma’s pool and sometimes at the beach
  7. I got a bike for Christmas and a Pocahontas dress
  8. I have been learning the piano and trying hard
  9. I like putting decorations on the Christmas tree and playing Christmas games
  10. I really really want to go to school!

Highlights of the week:

Turns out I love readers, makes me so excited that my girl ‘can’ read, learning is seriously fun.

Hearing about my girl playing with her new friends, telling me what her teacher has been teaching them – hope she continues to share with me about her days.

There is finally a positive to having early rising children! No rushes in the morning – everything has gone so smoothly, in fact I’m kinda loving the routine school is bringing to our lives. Early days yet I know.

Lowlight: My son is toilet training, (need I say more!) and wet his jocks and shorts at first after school pick up of the week 😦

 

ps I’m still undecided how anonymous I want this blog to be – think I better learn some photo editing skills though!!

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A slog of a week

This was a HARD week, made harder by all the mind games my head likes to play on me, here’s how it went down…

Monday wasn’t too bad -I dropped my daughter off at kindy, my son at my Mums and went to a class at the gym before seeing a few clients for work. Home after kindy and exhausted lounged on the couch with kids.

Tuesday – home day – been hating these lately, too much pressure to get stuff done and constant kid-wrangling/entertaining. This should have been a less pressured week because there was nothing pressing to achieve, but rather than relax I felt guilty I wasn’t using the time properly to take advantage of it. My number one problem over-thinking!!

Wednesday/workday – have been a bit out of the zone lately work-wise and after lunch was so tempting to nap in the car but thank goodness I pushed and got my notes all done

Thursday – went into town at 11 for a day of appointments and finally bookclub*

Friday – all week I had been struggling with the fear I was sliding into depression, I had a major lack of energy, was  watching dvds any chance I had – not enjoying it though because of guilt. But today I looked back at my week realised I had achieved something each day and I made a plan. I started as soon as I got up tidying my childrens wardrobes and putting the sheets on for a wash (had been feeling crap about their ill-fitting clothes) and although I did hit a wall by 8am and cooked a shit lunch for my family I got through and had a great afternoon, asked for parents to pretty please deliver chicken so I could cook a meal, visited the neighbours and most awesome of all folded all the washing. Has been weeks in the trenches but I think I can finally declare I am on top of the washing, for you know all of 2 seconds! Then suddenly the house felt the cleanest it had been in weeks and life looked so much brighter. It was a real turning point.

It’s holidays now so maybe it was just a case of end of term fatigue but I hate how a few bad days – normal stay-at-home Mum/ housewife days really, quickly resulted in constant over-analysis of could this be depression – I’m a bad person – I’m almost suicidal. Obviously more to work on there but as soon as I broke out and felt a bit better, I was on cloud nine, soaking in grateful smiles and engaging with the world.

*book review to come!

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I DO want to

I’ve had a serious case of the I DON’T WANT TO’s the last few days….

I don’t want to deal with my kids constant arguing

I don’t want to sit down and play with them so they are actually engaged in an activity instead of driving me mad

I don’t want to exercise

I don’t want to look up recipes in an attempt to get my family eating healthily

I don’t want to do anything so it’s easier just to go to bed. even though no amount of rest is ever enough to help me face the next day.

I was worried about my work day today, worried I wasn’t prepared. I had plenty of time before my first client though and by lunch I’d sent the email and made the call I’d been trying to put off in my head. That felt good.

But then my client after lunch didn’t go great, I felt like a fraud. And I’ve had that feeling before and with all this not wanting to do anything it has me scared.

I came home and slumped, thankfully here I am now writing a post. I’ve scraped myself up from the couch so that’s a promising start

My goals:

I want to play games with my kids

I want to stick to the spring challenge I’ve signed up for at the gym – I want to be accountable about my exercise

I want to find a way that works for me to provide healthy meals for both my family and myself

I want to study to increase my job options and confidence

I want to feel close to and supported by and supportive to my husband

and step by step I CAN achieve these goals, who’s with me?