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And then the tears came… (the incident of the flat tyre)

So let me share a little story….

Last night did not quite go to plan – I set off for town just on time and started to hear a weird thumping noise. It sounded like it was coming from the tyre but wasn’t constant so I figured it was just the road. I don’t drive our smaller car often and bumps are always much more noticeable in it. Weird noises continued though and even if the car wasn’t wobbling i knew I needed to check the tyres – especially after going around a corner – yep a shredded tyre, good work GJ.

I quickly realized the cars interior lights wouldn’t be enough to guide me, thankfully I had mobile reception and tried the neighbours where Hubby was working – no answer. I was kinda relieved about the light situation actually as it meant I could call for help and not have to manage it on my own. Next I tried my brother-in-law he was out for tea and had had a few too many drinks to be of assistance. Tried the neighbours again and just got hold of hubby before he headed home. He wasn’t keen to come though (no knight in shining armour for me) and as we talked I worked out I would be able to use the flashlight on my phone – bugger I would have to do it on my own.

I’d say it took me about half hour to get started and I finally had my cry. I didn’t want to let my friend down (who ended up seeing the show on her own), I didn’t want to have to do it on my own ( I spent half that time thinking of different options to call and rescue me), I didn’t think I had the strength to do it on my own (those nuts are really hard) and to be honest with phone reception, music in the car and beautiful stars in the sky all I really wanted to do was sit and enjoy some more alone time – but I couldn’t relax, I couldn’t just do nothing and eventually the nuts gave way.

Then I had to work out the jack. For which I sadly had to call hubby back for assistance (in my defence it was the first time I’d changed a tyre by myself in this car, and it happened to be at night when I was feeling emotional). I thought I’d broken the car when it still didn’t seem to be working so another call and hubby was on his way. I did get the tyre up while I waited but couldn’t get it off by myself anyway.

So such was my night, I got back put the kids to bed and indulged in more tv series dvd-ing. I asked hubby if I had been moody, he thinks I’m just tired and so it is I’m worn out.

And there just seems to be a lot of death lately my bone cancer client, my new friends family member, 3 of my online mums group Mums have had recent deaths in their families, my darling high school friend is in hospice care and my sister is in hospital for treatment of her chronic mental health condition. I was about to say none of this had directly impacted on me this last week but of course it all has either directly – a client I’m helping care for, a friend who had to change a catch up or indirectly – people on my mind and in my prayers.

The sun is shining today and I think I can let my melancholy go but sometimes we need to stop and feel sad and cry.

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Melancholy (a week in the life of GJMOTW)

I’ve been feeling tired this week. I was about to say it was finally a quieter week but no I was in town four out of five days (hour round trip). I didn’t have any major tasks though and we used all our data so internet speed is next to zero plus I have no books on the go.

Its 6pm on a Friday night and I’m home alone, hubby has taken the kids to the neighbours and I’m preparing to go out with a girlfriend for a show. It’s so nice to have some alone time. I don’t know if its menstrual moods, depression swings or what but I feel like I have a lot of emotions within me I went to let loose – preferably through tears but because it’s not really about anything in particular nothing is happening and I just feel….melancholy.

Some events from my week:

-my two year old is enjoying going through a defiant stage, I dearly want my lovable son back!

-we did a school tour with my five year old – now that is a major mixed bag of emotions

-work was busy – joint visit with client and family discussing importance of looking into an assessment for memory loss, a mother worried about her daughter married to an alcoholic – such a caring lady with no sense of self-worth and I worry she lacks the trust that God’s grace is enough, a fly through with a lonely lady and finding out a client has bone cancer and won’t be receiving active treatment for it

-GP appointment which actually went well – reassurance about anti-depressant dosage, contraception and recurring headaches

-a meeting with a potential work friend/mentor/study partner cancelled due to expecting a death in the family another one went ahead but just havn’t had head space this week to look into possibly further study options (good to discuss though)

So now I best get shoes on, bag packed and enjoy my night.

What are you up to?