Priorities 2019

I’ve struggled a lot with motivation and I think prioritising so to start the New Year I’ve decided to write a bit of list to keep me on track….


I’m sure there’s a few more things I should consider i.e. friends, gym…… but I think this is a good starting point / guide post.

Having said that priority No. 1 for this week is… time on the beach 🙂

Wishing you all a blessed week.

What priorities do you have – for 2019?

community · life · mental health

#4 Sunday ABC

I had so many thoughts for blogging this week and now that I’m finally sitting in front of the computer, it’s sadly quite a chore. But writing posts in my head is therapeutic, reading others words often inspires and connecting can turn a day around, so here’s Round 4.

Please feel free to join in with your own responses either in the comments or as your own post 🙂

My week in a nutshell – I’ve been flat and then productive and now tired and worried. My husband  has injured his foot just as we start harvest and I’m fairly well the worst nurse-wife ever.

A is for Affirmation

My motto for the week is to ride it out…..maybe not quite like this fella :p

Related image

B is for Best, Worst and OMM

Best – Coming through a fog of flatness and the gratitude of feeling energetic again. enjoying some favourite episodes of Grey’s

Worst – Seeing jobs that need doing and having no desire to do them

OMM – (On my mind) How I will cope doing all the cooking and supporting my husband who will understandably get frustrated as he heals.

C is for Community

Katie from How I Killed Betty wrote two blogs this week that really hit home for me.

Attacking Life, or Running Away

and, What do you do to combat depression and/or anxiety?

She describes her blog as a diary on how to tackle depression and anxiety and it definitely helps me to have others share their journeys, ideas and challenges. Sometimes it can all feel hopeless or just hard work but when the skies clear…..

Image result for beautiful sky

You know it’s worth pulling through and that you can do it, time and time again.


life · mental health · Uncategorized

The Failed Experiment

The other night I started a reading for my ‘Working with Mental Health’ course about anxiety and I must say I was feeling pretty impressed with myself. Alas the pride before the fall (or however the saying goes). I was feeling good about how I hadn’t really been experiencing anxiety that I could think of, hooray my self-confidence seemed to be travelling well.

I had a great Saturday but work Friday and Sunday were stressful, not unexpectedly leading up to work-shadowing on Monday! An anxious response to such an event is perfectly normally (as my reading told me). But now I must confess to my attempted experiment. I’ve had a few weekends away recently when I’ve left my medications at home and survived! Following that I thought to myself, well perhaps I’m ready to reduce my anti-depressants, and without consultation I stopped one of my daily tablets reducing my intake by 75mg.

Today I declared this experiment a failure and returned to taking my prescribed dosage. And I’m annoyed. I’ve been feeling more stressed and emotionally worn out but there is no evidence to be able to assuredly say that this is because of my reduced medication. It could just as likely be due simply to more stressful life circumstances in recent weeks. But why put myself through extra stress if the tablets do help? And so my brain has been on over-drive, overthinking, over analyzing over …  I was going to wait until after today to decide if it was medication or life affecting me, as today is my free day. No kids, no travel, just home with a chance to get on top of things. I’ve been waiting for this day and now that it’s here there is pressure to make sure it’s not wasted. Pressure on my free day?!? Good work brain. So I took the tablet this morning and I’m annoyed at myself at being disappointed. I have no qualms about taking medication for my mental health and yet it still seems an ideal to reduce that medication. I like to think it’s a cost thing because less medications equals less money spent but I’m financially blessed so really what does it matter…..?

Now faithful readers I’m going to give you an insight into the justifications that have been going round and round my head – reasons why I’ve been feeling more stressed out:

  • Reading about anxiety is bound to bring up feelings of anxiety
  • Assignments are looming and I don’t feel like I’ve had a chance to sit down and really focus on study (that was what today was for)
  • The box of papers that I’ve been constantly adding to, to sort through, but not finding time to deal with
  • Waking up to a messy kitchen/house
  • Relationship stuff
  • Parenting stuff
  • Just a general sense of not feeling on top of all that is coming up
  • Decisions to be made around playing netball and after school activities
  • Feeling so worn out and taking time to nap rather than putting those drawers I bought weeks ago into my bedroom and continuing the process of decluttering
  • Preparing for upcoming birthdays
  • Buying a new car
  • Preparing for work
  • Doing those exercises my therapist gave me not to mention trying to eat better…
  • Making time for blogging 😊
  • Actually clearing the table not just reorganising into different piles!
  • Oooh not to mention my period starting

Oh my what a release to actually write some of those things out. I am a list lover but I’ve tended in recent times to avoid them as they so often get made and then simply added to that box of papers. I think I can work with this list above. I think I may be able to acknowledge some of those stressors and move on.

I feel like this week my brain has gone back to that cycle of overthinking whereas when I’m truly well, I don’t think I just do. I don’t rehash and work on justifying I just feel. But I’m not really sure maybe it’s all just the reverse-placebo effect, maybe I’m making a mountain out of a molehill, maybe I’m mis-remembering.

And maybe today was a good day. Maybe today was just what I needed to get back on track of all those thoughts going round and round. Another good day. I got what I needed to done, not all that would have been ideal but some extra stuff too aka a normal good day. I don’t really care about the medication, even though I’m feeling much better now I’m not goin to re-attempt the experiment (just yet :p ) but I will keep working on and addressing my mental health after all it’s what keep me sane!








life · Uncategorized

Breathing Space

It’s been awhile in between posts. I was busy with end of semester assignments and it was tough. I got stressed. And my uncle killed himself.


There was so much more I was going to write, life has been busy as always and everyday brings new things to reflect on/stew over/praise God for but…


I’m on a 2 week mid-semester study break and considering dropping out of studies for a bit to focus on my own mental well-being. If it happens I will recommit to a blog a week or maybe to take pressure off, once a fortnight. Until then – enjoy your Friday night/weekend/wordpress reading.


ps to anyone that reads this it means a lot, feeling connected and heard is what I love about the world of blogging





Which way next (Part 3)

…For the last 2 years I’ve been wanting to change career direction….

I kind of decided in 2014 that my current job wasn’t the best fit for me and started to look into some other options. I started thinking about studying social work. It’s an area I’ve always been interested in but at some stage in my high school ‘working out what I want to do’ days my Mum encouraged me to pursue other areas – (at least that’s how I remember it) I think she believed I needed more real life experience and I thank her for that because as a 17 year old I would have been a very naive social worker student.

But I figure now I’m at least a little bit more world-wise and went to talk to a new friend who is a social worker. She pointed me in the direction of an occupational therapy mental health position in community health being advertised at the time. Awesome idea, different field without having to study- I put in a lot of effort for the application and interview preparation and it was a great experience BUT I didn’t get the job. I was definitely lacking experience despite working with veterans with PTSD. I did get a contact with one of the panel and he has since pointed me in the direction of some great resources but I was rather devastated at the time.

Okay a lot devastated, after a lot of reflection and you know life I decided to take it as a sign a) that I needed to do more short courses/online education etc.   to prove/follow my passion in mental health  b) maybe God was shutting the door for me working in mental health, I’d also applied for jobs in this area straight out of uni with no luck. I spoke with another OT and realised there are different levels of mental health care ie severe/emergency, moderate and given my own mental health issues perhaps helping people with more moderate level mental health concerns would be a better fit. It was great to once again feel there might be a job out there for me in the mental health field.

I started looking at degrees in mental health. And then I got sick again – how could I possibly ever help anyone else experiencing mental health when I can’t deal with it myself? Despite the horrible lows I made it through the other side and while doing a course with a life coach was asked what do I want to do – the answer was counselling, it felt unscripted just straight from the heart so that is the dream I want to follow this year. Hopefully it will lead me to a new job where I can work in a team and combine my passion of engaging people with helping them.

What are your goals for 2016? Or for your career/study? Any advice for studying counselling?

ps Just wanted to say thanks to people who are following, such a good feeling to know my thoughts are being read. Reached 50 likes this week 🙂



My Paid Job (Part 2)


Happy New Year folks 🙂

Last week I started sharing with you my career journey. This year one of my resolutions/hopes is to do some study to change the direction of my career a bit but first let me finish how I ended up where I am now

So prior to going on maternity leave I was working part-time interstate. The truth is I have only ever worked full-time for about 5 months. I sometimes feel a bit guilty about this but I guess I’ll have time to make up for it when the kids are all grown up….

Before having my baby girl I was in touch with a private occupational therapist working in the area where I live. I just looked back over old emails and she emailed me 3 days after I had given birth – wondering how I was going – we emailed back and forth for awhile me always saying I’d like to catch up and then a month later saying still waiting to get into a routine lol those early newborn days!! We eventually met up when my daughter was 3 months old, the best interview I’ve probably ever had because I wasn’t really expecting an interview – I had just been thinking it was a coffee to meet each other. But I was offered a job, hooray! I hadn’t really had plans regarding my return to work except that I had taken 1 years leave but realistically  was never going to return to that job (sadly as I ended up truly loving it – if only I could move the farm or the town a little closer to each other!)

It took awhile for contracts and provider numbers etc to be organised and then I postponed a week or so so I could say that I returned to work when my baby was 5 months. I worked one day a week visiting DVA (Department of Veteran Affairs) clients (mostly WW2 vets and widows) in the community putting in equipment, home modifications and services to help them remain independent and safe at home. Now 5+ years later I am still doing this at the moment for two days a week. However it has been far from continuous. I think I moved up to 2 days a week in 2011 but then lost a baby at 24 weeks and after stop starting for awhile gave up work altogether until after my rainbow baby was born in 2013. It was at the end of this year that I made inquiries to see if they’d have me back – they said yes 🙂

I’ve mostly worked one-two days with a few stints of more when my boss is away on holidays. This year I cut back down to 1 after a few months off due to depression and now I’ve returned to two days after another few months off. This job is great in its flexibility – not many places would let me have so much time off and come back again. Also the days and hours I work are pretty well up to me. I  work from home/my car with no office for me to go into, everything admin is done over the interwebs.

I miss having a work desk though, and a team to talk in person with and sadly equipment and home mods arn’t really my thing – I know what I need to know but it doesn’t interest me apart from how it helps my clients. What I really love is talking to people, engaging them and having them trust me to share any issues/concerns/triumphs.

For the last 2 years I’ve bee wanting to change direction – perhaps I’ll make that story Part 3 🙂


my OT journey

I don’t really know how I came about choosing to study OT (occupational therapy), it almost just happened! The first I heard about this career was reading my school newsletter and seeing one of the Yr 12’s the year before me had it recorded as their uni choice. From there it somehow ended up on the top of my six preferences for university. I didn’t get in first round but was accepted into my second choice of midwifery. At the same time I was offered an admin job I had interviewed for. It was a stressful day as I chose whether to go to uni or have a gap year and I now look back and imagine what would have been….

I chose to study and was next offered a place in OT course at Uni SA in the second round offers. It is an amazing degree but the next four years were definitely a challenge! I was continually questioning if this was the career for me but the good (and bad) thing about OT is the broad number of areas you can work in, so even if some things don’t interest you there’s bound to be something you like! At uni it felt like we were getting to know a little of everything but going into depth with nothing – amazing how we still came out at the end with the necessary skills/critical thinking required (well mostly!).

My plan today was to share about my working life and in light of the New Year just around the corner some of my work goals but I think I best start with a definition of occupational therapy.

OT’s consider everything that occupies your time as an occupation so sleeping, making breakfast, caring for your children, work, handwriting, showering, socialising etc. etc and we work with people who may be having difficulty with any such occupation.

It took me a while to find work after finishing uni. I was about to marry a farmer so was restricted location wise. I had been very hopeful about a job with the local community health service but performed badly in the interview and missed out. A few months and many applications later I got a job interstate (a 2hr drive) with their community health service. I boarded with the local pastor and his wife and came home once or twice a week.

I was a bit of a mess at the time and ended up taking additional leave before my wedding but fortunately I returned after the big day and loved it.

The OT team (of 3) had a backlog of referrals from adults in the community (mostly elderly) for generally equipment and home modifications. We were also re-establishing our paediatric service and I was involved in the intake process for new referrals.

After the wedding I was also successful in obtaining a part-time position closer to home (45min drive) with the local community health service working on a project with a local child care service. So I was part-time there and part time interstate.

The project role was quite difficult. The OT team there didn’t believe this child care facility should be getting extra services ahead of the rest of the community and the director of the facility was… an interesting personality. I wrote a project proposal and completed a large chunk of a needs analysis but either due to service constraints or my own mental health that was as far as I was able to proceed and I ended up quitting this job when I found out I was pregnant.

Think that’s enough for one days writing, will do a Part 2 soon 🙂