life · parenting · relationships · Uncategorized

Great Expectations

This blog has been a real struggle, choosing a topic and finding the energy to flesh it out. Mostly I wanted to write about how tired (and GRUMPY) I am but I couldn’t see that being overly entertaining. I’m disappointed in myself, I really want to give this blogging thing a good go – weekly posts or at least fortnightly but it has now been 18 days since my last post. At the same time I know I don’t want it to be an extra pressure of something to do on the never-ending list.

This last weekend was our least busy in goodness knows how long and I’d been looking forward to it so much, but then n.o.t.h.i.n.g. Even after a week of turning down fun activities (Australia vs England netball game, bookclub, Bad Moms with some wonderful Mummy friends) in order to catch up on much needed sleep, I was STILL tired.

We have reached a golden part of the year, a break between footbal and cricket seasons, a time to FINALLY get some bigger jobs done around the house, I have SO much I want to achieve but…but…but….

The topic I actually chose to write about this week was friendships. I spent last week emotionally drained by a hard one, only to find when I caught up with the person involved, that the big deal I’d made it out to be didn’t eventuate at all. I’ve also come to see I’m very jealous of others friendships, particularly what I see posted on good ‘ole FB. I think the answer is devoting time for building my own friendships, unfortunately  I’m tired AND grumpy.  Sorry does seem to be the recurring theme!

I do have great friends who seem to accept me as I am but I want a bosom buddy, even if that’s not really my style. I’m more of a floater, trying to be friends with everyone, at the same time not really getting close with anyone. At a party I flit around from one group to another, chatting with everyone but in some ways no one. Ideally I would love that one friend I could go sit with absolutely whenever and know we can talk or just sit together.

All this said I AM generally content with my friendships, although just lately wishing I could visibly recognise effort others put in versus just me. I also wish I could let loose and not think about the housework I could be doing with free time instead of catching up with friends.

Life’s busyness and motherhood makes devoting time to friendships, let’s face it, even just yourself hard but family and children are worth all their energy sapping-ness. This morning I watched my boy climbing sheep fences, tank ladders and enjoying time with his father and grandfather. This totally makes life meaningful. (And on the housework side of things even if the big jobs didn’t get done on the weekend I still managed to stay on top of the laundry which feels great – thanks Flylady). Plus my hubby hasn’t stopped talking to me despite my snappiness and my daughter is starting to accept my music choices in the car – it’s been a good day.

 

 

* I think routine (already established during the week) helps, wonder what I can do with free weekends to balance letting go and being productive?!?

 

life · Uncategorized

Study, work and housekeeping

I’m working on my first written assignment for uni today (Freud’s psychoanalysis anyone?) so unfortunately not a lot of energy or motivation for much else – although I am contemplating heading to bed soon with a novel, need to get some additional references before I allow that though and time is running out!

Life is busy. I say that every week, but every week its true. This week there was extra tiredness following a super awesome wedding reception. I also had three days of work, not full days but enough to make me feel like I had been working three days straight!

I also had a catch up with my boss…

Everyone time I meet up with my boss I walk away realising I don’t really like her. Well no it’s not so much I don’t like her because I have massive respect for her and her business but we just can’t seem to connect and work really differently. Good thing I work remotely so catching up is rather rare.

So really a good reminder of why I’m studying and trying to change direction. Also good that I have a holiday just around the corner!

My husband also kept telling me the house needed cleaning. I agree quite wholeheartedly but take exception to being told when he could just go ahead and do something about it. I am working really hard to stay on top of the dishes, shopping, laundry etc. and he never appreciates that effort. Urrgggh

Time just disappeared last week. Let’s hope this coming week  has enough available so I can finish my assignments, go to my appointments, see my clients, get ready for our holidays and maybe squeeze in some of my to do list, hmmm….

What’s been keeping you busy lately?