Home day curse?

I’ve done my back. Well actually the issue is more in my hips and it is very much improved from Wednesday but….

First time this year I had some free time our puppy broke his leg

Second time I got majorly stressed out

Third time I couldn’t walk for 2 days

I’m sensing a pattern I am in no way impressed with. But then again these things are meant to come in threes so I should be ok now, right? Right?!?

Life however is good

I’ve been really enjoying A Place to Call Home although it has also challenged my beliefs around homosexuality – the treatment of a man in this series because of his sexual desires is horrific

I’ve caught up on my wordpress feed, so much good stuff – I think my next challenge is to read a non-fiction book perhaps one by Neil Postman

I’ve handed in all due assignments so far – this week will be the big challenge though with my first lengthy essay.

All three of my teams won their games today – be warned netball related post on my mind

I love my kids and family – what more can i say 🙂

Hope you’re weekend is going well, preferably less the aches and pains I’m experiencing but also full of love.

 

It’s nice to touch base, God bless

 

ps Feel free to share a tidbit from your life – I need all the distraction from study I can get!!

WWW Wednesday – 29th March

WWW Wednesday is a meme hosted by Taking on a World of Words and it’s my weekly reminder to blog! No actually it’s a fun way to share my reading habits and a simple way (especially with hubby at footy training) to get something written. Anyone can participate. All you’ve got to do is answer the three Ws . Go check out other blogger’s contributions too, it’s a great way to connect.

What are you currently reading:

Making actual progress on Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert, finished a chapter on the history of marriage which has given me food for thought and inspiration for a future blog post on civil unions

Finding Fraser by K.C Dyer is officially deleted but I did start a new audio book I picked up from the library – The Luminaries by Elanor Catton. I’m not 100% taken by the writing style but the mystery and secrets will keep me listening.

What did you recently finish reading:

Snow and Shadow by Dorothy Tse – a strange book of short stories best explained by this wonderful review. My favourite story was The Love Between Leaf and Knife which I found very relatable despite the bizarre characters and actions.

What do you think you’ll read next:

I downloaded Left Neglected by Lisa Genova, same author as Still Alice but it will go back on my TBR pile I think along with A Year of Wonders from the library. I’m after a light easy read next which I think will be Coming Home by Stacy Hawkins Adams, it’s book one in a series which I already read and purchased part 2 of, a christian novel.

I’d like to add this week…

Which children’s book I’d recommend:

The Three Little Fish and the Big Bad Shark by Ken Geist and illustrated by Julia Gorton. A modern take on The Three Little Pigs with Jim, Tim, Kim  and their finny fin fins. I love the font and layout of the words, they make it so easy to do voices. Plus it has the feminist touch of Kim choosing the safest housing option.

Which tv series am I binge watching now:

I was desperately need in something worthwhile to watch on tv and am loving my introduction to Season One of A Place to Call Home. Strong characters and I just love the 1950’s time period in Australia. Also giving me food for thought in relation to marriage.

 

What’s keeping you sane this week? Feel free to add your own W questions 🙂

 

 

The Failed Experiment

The other night I started a reading for my ‘Working with Mental Health’ course about anxiety and I must say I was feeling pretty impressed with myself. Alas the pride before the fall (or however the saying goes). I was feeling good about how I hadn’t really been experiencing anxiety that I could think of, hooray my self-confidence seemed to be travelling well.

I had a great Saturday but work Friday and Sunday were stressful, not unexpectedly leading up to work-shadowing on Monday! An anxious response to such an event is perfectly normally (as my reading told me). But now I must confess to my attempted experiment. I’ve had a few weekends away recently when I’ve left my medications at home and survived! Following that I thought to myself, well perhaps I’m ready to reduce my anti-depressants, and without consultation I stopped one of my daily tablets reducing my intake by 75mg.

Today I declared this experiment a failure and returned to taking my prescribed dosage. And I’m annoyed. I’ve been feeling more stressed and emotionally worn out but there is no evidence to be able to assuredly say that this is because of my reduced medication. It could just as likely be due simply to more stressful life circumstances in recent weeks. But why put myself through extra stress if the tablets do help? And so my brain has been on over-drive, overthinking, over analyzing over …  I was going to wait until after today to decide if it was medication or life affecting me, as today is my free day. No kids, no travel, just home with a chance to get on top of things. I’ve been waiting for this day and now that it’s here there is pressure to make sure it’s not wasted. Pressure on my free day?!? Good work brain. So I took the tablet this morning and I’m annoyed at myself at being disappointed. I have no qualms about taking medication for my mental health and yet it still seems an ideal to reduce that medication. I like to think it’s a cost thing because less medications equals less money spent but I’m financially blessed so really what does it matter…..?

Now faithful readers I’m going to give you an insight into the justifications that have been going round and round my head – reasons why I’ve been feeling more stressed out:

  • Reading about anxiety is bound to bring up feelings of anxiety
  • Assignments are looming and I don’t feel like I’ve had a chance to sit down and really focus on study (that was what today was for)
  • The box of papers that I’ve been constantly adding to, to sort through, but not finding time to deal with
  • Waking up to a messy kitchen/house
  • Relationship stuff
  • Parenting stuff
  • Just a general sense of not feeling on top of all that is coming up
  • Decisions to be made around playing netball and after school activities
  • Feeling so worn out and taking time to nap rather than putting those drawers I bought weeks ago into my bedroom and continuing the process of decluttering
  • Preparing for upcoming birthdays
  • Buying a new car
  • Preparing for work
  • Doing those exercises my therapist gave me not to mention trying to eat better…
  • Making time for blogging 😊
  • Actually clearing the table not just reorganising into different piles!
  • Oooh not to mention my period starting

Oh my what a release to actually write some of those things out. I am a list lover but I’ve tended in recent times to avoid them as they so often get made and then simply added to that box of papers. I think I can work with this list above. I think I may be able to acknowledge some of those stressors and move on.

I feel like this week my brain has gone back to that cycle of overthinking whereas when I’m truly well, I don’t think I just do. I don’t rehash and work on justifying I just feel. But I’m not really sure maybe it’s all just the reverse-placebo effect, maybe I’m making a mountain out of a molehill, maybe I’m mis-remembering.

And maybe today was a good day. Maybe today was just what I needed to get back on track of all those thoughts going round and round. Another good day. I got what I needed to done, not all that would have been ideal but some extra stuff too aka a normal good day. I don’t really care about the medication, even though I’m feeling much better now I’m not goin to re-attempt the experiment (just yet :p ) but I will keep working on and addressing my mental health after all it’s what keep me sane!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Friendship….

almost 900 kms

In the past two days I haven driven almost 900kms. Two hundred is pretty normal for me over two days, if I’m doing anything other than staying at home but 900 is super tiring. I had a 500km round trip yesterday with our puppy to have a check up with his surgeon. He broke his leg about six weeks ago and then two weeks ago had to have a second surgery due to damage to his tissues and knee cap, fortunately it seems we are on track now and fingers crossed I only have to do that trip one more time (realistically probably 2…)

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Back in our home town I then had the school pick up, swimming and dance run to complete with an added netball team trial for me. When I finally got home 13.5 hours after leaving I had some uni readings to finish before today’s (only 3 hour return) drive. My study course involves practice counselling sessions with a fellow student and this was our midpoint. Needless to say I am incredibly delighted to now be at home, chilling on the couch, kids already asleep!

I am also delighted to announce that I have finally been able to close the monster truck party tabs on my internet explorer. It’s been on my to-do list since the start of the Christmas holidays but non-surprisingly only got attended to in the last few weeks (days :p). Nonetheless it a huge success and spent the next two days recovering.

Tonight would normally be my WWW Wednesday post but I’m feeling a bit sad that that’s all I’ve been managing lately, then again it keeps me ticking so ‘watev’s‘… hosted by Sam at Taking on a World of Words, it’s fun and simple, all you have to answer the three W’s: What are you currently reading? What did you recently finish reading? What do you think you’ll read next? You can also join by answering and linking your blog post back on Sam’s post.

Currently reading:

Yep Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert is still there.

Enjoying Snow and Shadow by Dorothy Tse even if it is a bit weird.

Finding Fraser by K.C Dyer although I can’t take much of it at a time!

Finished reading:

A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini. Simply amazing. 5 stars

Born a generation apart and with very different ideas about love and family, Mariam and Laila are two women brought jarringly together by war, by loss and by fate. As they endure the ever escalating dangers around them—in their home as well as in the streets of Kabul—they come to form a bond that makes them both sisters and mother-daughter to each other, and that will ultimately alter the course not just of their own lives but of the next generation. Goodreads.

I borrowed this book without reading the back cover, which I sometimes think is a good way to go, no expectations. I appreciated the narrator on the audio book pronouncing names and words I’m sure I would have completely stuffed up and really taking me into the world of Afghanistan. And how astounding it was to enter that world through the eyes of these two women. Can’t recommend enough.

Reading next:

Without a doubt Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini has moved up the list. Plus all those uni readings…

 

 

WWW Wednesday 8th March

WWW Wednesday is a weekly meme hosted by Sam at Taking on a World of Words. It’s fun and simple, you just have to answer the three W’s: What are you currently reading? What did you recently finish reading? What do you think you’ll read next? You can also join by answering and linking your blog post back on Sam’s post.

Currently reading:

I’m actually taking a leaf out of Sam’s book this week with a growing collection of books in this category! Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert is still there. I’ve been carrying it and Snow and Shadow by Dorothy Tse around everywhere lately and have finally started the second – our next bookclub book.

This week I also discovered the joy of audiobooks!! I had previously been a bit of an ageist thinking they were mostly for people with eyesight issues but with all the drives I’ve had recently I checked out Overdrive borrowing A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini, the author of Kite Runner (on my to-read list) and set in Afghanistan. It is fantastic. Sadly for today’s road trip my preferred car was out of action with the book on usb so I put Finding Fraser by K.C Dyer on my phone instead – sadly nowhere near as good and not sure I’ll get through, even if it is Outlander inspired

Finished reading:

Silly car I’m sure I would have finished Splendid Suns today if not for you!! Taking it in for a service tomorrow but with kids in tow unlikely to get much listening done.

Reading next:

Read a movie review recently of Silence based on the book by Shūsaku Endō, it’s currently in my Book Depository basket waiting for pay day.  I’m planning to use it for my When Are You Reading Challenge which you are more than welcome to join 🙂

Uni readings start in full force this week and following my son’s 4th birthday yesterday we have a party on Saturday to organise and recover from. Monday however is a public holiday so there is reading and blogging hope for this week…well a glimpse of hope at least!

 

Life Update & WWW Wednesday

Surprise, surprise, life has been busy!! I didn’t get to do this post last week because I was hosting an English/Russian/German themed Exposure inspired book club. As usual it was a fantabulous night of laughs and food!

I cooked (!) (my once a year effort) Yorkshire pudding with Apple sausage in Onion Gravy, mashed potato, peas and carrots. Dessert was this very simple (but tasty!) fruit cobbler with farm grown plums and Foster Clarks custard (no, I don’t have a share in the company girls!). I also had cheese and dips (bookclub staple) along with german sausages, pretzels and cavier (apparently Russian?). I found my questions here and the night was a wonderful success. Two of us had a great discussion on why we loved it, two others couldn’t get through it and the other finisher was a bit ‘meh’ 🙂

Since then life has been all a-go. A friend come out the following day, after I’d already done a load of dishes sadly, but I did get her to supervise while I worked on clearing out one room and moving a bookshelf in from another room.

Friday I somehow crammed in three clients before the three hour drive to our city to start a weekend intensive on Emotion Focused Therapy. It was a full on few days, spent fortunately with lovely people. I would love to give you a blurb on EFT, but that would require more brain power than I have available to me at the moment, if anyone already knows about it, would love your thoughts!! Seems to involve some confronting but powerful techniques.

I then made a quick trip up into the Hills to make an appearance at my cousin’s post wedding party. Just lovely to spend an hour catching up with family before the drive home this time with my family (and experimenting the back roads!).

Would have been lovely to relax then on monday but Hubby and I took our puppy back to the surgeon for a 4 week check up and left him there for another surgery 😦 He will be on even stricter bed rest this time – eeek. Thereafter I’ve had chauffering, household chores, meetings, appointments and work. Tomorrow I’ve got the 5 hour round trip to pick up puppy again…..

And then we have reading 🙂 Following Sam’s meme hosted at Taking on a World of Words. Anyone can participate. All you’ve got to do is answer the three Ws below and post a link to your answers here.

The Three Ws are:

What are you currently reading?
What did you recently finish reading?
What do you think you’ll read next?

Finished reading: Big Little Lies by Liane Moriarty, I absolutely loved this book – funny, poignant and just good reading. From Goodreads ‘Big Little Lies is a brilliant take on ex-husbands and second wives, mothers and daughters, schoolyard scandal, and the dangerous little lies we tell ourselves just to survive.’

Currently reading: Still trying to read Committed, little by little. Havn’t made time for anything else though.

Reading next: I need to get started on Snow and Shadow by Dorothy Tse, next months book club book. I also saw the below clip on Facebook this morning and along with Sam’s books in the car (and everywhere) it’s made me think about seeing if I could find Constance Hall’s book in audio format to listen to in the car…

Happy reading to you all

ps I really really need to be spending time planning my son’s 4th birthday next week….

Pimples on my tongue

Does anyone else get pimples on their tongues?

I think it could be a stress thing…I also swear my teeth get sharper at certain times of the year causing pimples, I’ve had two recently and its annoying.

Please give me advice so I don’t have to resort to Doctor Google!

 

In other news….

I started this draft post a month ago Is it over yet? Part 2

 

communicating with hubby…

wanting him to tell me he cares….

in-laws separation…..

 

It has been a tough month relationship wise, I was near breaking point really when I wrote my man a letter and the next morning without explicit prompting he said, ‘I’m sorry.’ Wow can’t tell you how much that meant to me. I read so much into those simple words, that he understood why I was upset and that he could see that his actions had hurt me. So once again there’s hope.

One thing I have been struggling with is I think he is actually the one suffering at the moment and so for me to be having thoughts of needing more from him feels selfish. I do however believe he needs to let me in. I can’t ignore my own needs if he doesn’t share with me. Communication is slow and progress slower still (so it feels) but at least it’s moving again.

 

Short post but I think that’s enough. Wishing you all a blessed weekend and in particular that your relationships may flourish.

 

Actually I do have something else to add, this step forward has been a real answer to prayer. I found this blog approximately 3 years ago, printed it out and stuck it in my Bible. Such a good way to approach conflict in marriage – to pray for your partner. Definitely not always easy but in those times I take comfort that the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. Rom 8:26 (Thanks Vanessa)

 

From Becky Thompson 10 Prayers for my Husbands Heart

Lord, I ask that you would touch my husband’s heart. I pray that his heart would be…

1.)    CONFIDENT of Your love for Him.

2.)    SENSITIVE to the promptings of Your Holy Spirit.

3.)    BRAVE as he follows you in all areas of his life.

4.)    SOFT so that he may show Your love to others always.

5.)    WISE in always discerning truth.

6.)    GENTLE with my heart and the hearts of our children.

7.)    RECEPTIVE of my love for him.

8.)    STRONG in doing what you have called him to do.

9.)    PROTECTED from the lusts that would try to ensnare it.

10.)  REFLECTIVE of the love of his Heavenly Father.

Father, I thank You for the wonderful man that You have given me. Help me to always see Him as you do. Help me to remember to pray for His heart daily. Grow our relationship emotionally and spiritually as together we pursue You in all things.